Thursday, August 11, 2011

What If Buffy Wrote "Last Friday Night?"

Katy Perry was hoping that her latest song, "Last Friday Night" would hit #1 in the Billboard Top 100, and apparently set a new record.
I will admit it's the first time I've willingly bought one of her tunes, thanks to getting hooked on it during Comic-Con. I just thought what if you changed the song about a girl who partied a little too hard into one about a Slayer recovering from another typical night where she clobbered vampires to save mankind, or a significant chunk of it.
I came up with something, but before I do that, I did find a LOT of parodies on YouTube. We have "Because I'm White", a Harry Potter version, and a good one devoted to the rioters in Vancouver after the last game of the Stanley Cup.

Of course, I can't make something like that without willing accomplices. So, I just have the lyrics. It's called "Every Damn Night".
Picture this as Buffy waking up from another world-saving battle. So, sing along to the tune of "Last Friday Night". You, too, Sweet.....

I survived this night of doom
Wooden stakes all over the room
There’s a zombie in my bed,
He’s one of the Sleeping Dead
Werewolves passed out in the lawn
All their fur and pants are gone
Vampires cooked in a BBQ
But no bite marks or a bruise

Videos of my fight
Ended up online
I'm screwed
Oh well
Some publicity
Might be good, maybe
I hope
Blerg!

Every Damn Night
From Twilight to Breaking Dawn
I tell the vampires that it’s on
Though they’ll never will be gone
Every Damn Night
I am called the Chosen One
Have a job that’s never done
But I’m still second to none
Every Damn Night
I went slaying in the park
Killed six vampires in the dark
And they never left a mark
Every Damn Night
I’m a Supernatural Cop
And I know I just can’t stop. Whoa!
Every Damn Night
Do it all again
Every Damn Night
Do it all again

The apocalypse’s stopped, I guess
But I ruined my best dress
Had to burn that nightclub down
Where those vampires stayed in town
Watchers won’t like this at all
And they just won’t take my call
Here comes Fox and TMZ
They ask who I’m supposed to be

I’m the Slayer, you see
It’s my destiny,
which sucks, of course
But I prove my worth
And stop Hell on Earth
Or a Bad Horse, you see?

Every Damn Night
I got chosen at 15
My life’s anything but serene
But I’m better than Sam and Dean
Every Damn Night
Don’t ask if I get some nookie
My love life is not like Sookie
But I swear I am no rookie
Every Damn Night
So, be patient, if you please
This ain’t Vampire Diaries
Or that Stephanie Meyer cheese
Every Damn Night
Yeah, the risks I take are real
Should get a medal and book deal
And why not?
Every Damn Night
Do it all again
Every Damn Night
Do it all again

S-L-A-Y
S-L-A-Y
S-L-A-Y
S-L-A-Y
S-L-A-Y
S-L-A-Y
S-L-A-Y
S-L-A-Y

( Chorus )
Every Damn Night
From Twilight to Breaking Dawn
I tell the vampires that it’s on
Though they’ll never will be gone
Every Damn Night
I am called the Chosen One
Have a job that’s never done
But I’m still second to none
Every Damn Night
I went slaying in the park
Killed six vampires in the dark
And they never left a mark
Every Damn Night
I’m a Supernatural Cop
And I know I just can’t stop. Whoa!
Every Damn Night
Do it all....again



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